A Final Lesson...

To my seniors, in the Class of 2015:

"Believe in yourselves.  Dream.  Try.  Do good."

So say the immortal words of Mr. George Feeny, from Boy Meets World.  And while these words can stand on their own, I thought I'd add a few of my own to encourage you as you embark upon this next stage in your life.

Believe in yourselves.  You've probably heard from countless people about how you have potential, how you can do it if you set your mind to it, or other clichéd words of encouragement.  We all use them.  We do believe in you; clichés are clichés for a reason.  You do have potential.  You can be successful.  That said, encouragement from parents, or teachers, or even friends, only goes so far.  It's the belief you have in yourself that will make all the difference.  It will be difficult at times, but if you cling to that belief, success is likely to follow.

Dream.  What is it you want to do with your life?  What do you want to accomplish?  You're at that age where maybe you don't know yet.  So, dream.  Dream big.  Dream small.  Dream everywhere in-between.  Just dream.  Imagine the things you want to do.  Imagine the world you want to live in.

Try.  Always.  If you try, you might fail, but you might succeed.  The one thing you don't want to do is look back with regret because you didn't try.  What's the old line say?  We don't try to fail; we fail to try.  Trying and failing is simply a step toward success.  You have your whole life ahead of you, and in living that life, you will encounter failure, but you will also experience success, as long as you put forth the effort, as long as you try.

Do good.  My experiences have taught me that no matter what life throws at me, no matter how badly things may be going, there are others who have it worse.  You can make a difference.  Do good.  For them, for your children, for yourself.  Make a positive impact on the world around you.  Volunteer your time at a shelter, or building homes, or reading to the elderly in retirement homes.  Anytime you commit yourself to doing good, you're making the world a better place.

And so I say again:  "Believe in yourselves.  Dream.  Try.  Do good."

One final thought.  As your high school years come to a close, and you can't wait to walk across the stage when your name is called, I want to assure you, whether you realize it or not, that you have had an impact on me, on my teaching, on how I think, on everything about me.  I will miss you in the years to come, and hope you stop in from time to time to say hello.  As I hope I have been a positive influence in your life, you have been in mine, and for that, I say thank you.

Congratulations, Class of 2015!  You've earned it.  Enjoy some time off, and then charge boldly into the future, wherever yours may lie, and whatever yours may be.  You're going to do big things!  I know it!

I leave you with Mr. Feeny's last words:

"I love you all.  Class dismissed."

The Sight of Stars...

"For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream."  [Vincent van Gogh]
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"And as the fire burned low and only a few glowing embers remained, we laid on our backs all warm in our sleeping bags and looked up at the stars.  And as I felt myself falling into the vastness of the Universe, I thought about things, and places, and times."  [Aurora Borealis, C. W. McCall]
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I once read the book, Dark Sky Legacy, in which the author, George Reed, examines humankind's fascination with the night sky throughout history.  I picked it up to read because I, too, have a fascination with the night sky, and while the book was okay, it touched on a subject I often wonder about.  Why do we seem to enjoy the night sky so much?

The van Gogh quote provides one answer.  It makes us dream.  We see the night sky and the far off stars, and we cannot help but wonder what else is out there.  Staring into the night sky, looking at the stars, we look for answers.  We ponder life's meaning.  We let ourselves drift off "into the vastness of the universe," as C. W. McCall says.

There is something calming about the night sky, especially if you are not fortunate enough to live away from the hustle and bustle of the city.  For the most part, I grew up in or near the city, often on Army bases, where there was always something going on.  Peaceful, dark nights were hard to come by.  Every year, however, my family traveled to my grandparents' house, and there, I experienced the night sky the way it was meant to be.  I looked at the stars, so abundant, that individual stars became awash in the light of countless others, otherwise invisible to me most of the year.  And during those times, I would simply stare at the sky, looking at the stars, contemplating life, at peace with myself and the world around me.

It's no wonder that many astronomers, physicists, and other scientists think so big.  How could you possibly look at something as seemingly endless as the universe around you, and not wonder about the possibilities?

I love taking walks at night, stopping from time to time, simply to stare upward, and see what there is to see.  I don't do it nearly as often as I used to, which is regretful, but I plan to get out there more.  To experience God's creation.  To dream.  To become one with the world around me.  To live.  To wonder...

Join me, won't you?  :)
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[A very good National Geographic article about the night sky and light pollution]

Why Wait? A Battle of Visions...

[Roger Whittaker vs. John Mayer]  :)

After listening to the song, "A New World in the Morning," by Roger Whittaker, I looked up the lyrics, and stumbled across a thought-provoking comment.  Someone said they appreciate the song because it encourages one not to wait and expect things to change, but rather to act to bring about changes.  I agree with that sentiment.  Rarely in the annals of history have things happened without someone standing up and taking action.

The song starts off with the following:

“Everybody talks about a new world in the morning,
New world in the morning, so they say...
I myself don’t talk about a new world in the morning,
New world in the morning, that’s today.”

Simple enough, right?  Everyone talks about a new world, but here, Whittaker doesn’t...because the new world has to start today...not tomorrow.  He later sings that a “new world in the morning takes so long...” indicating that if all you’re going to do is talk about a new world, you’re going to have a long wait.  The second verse is more direct about the meaning of the song:

“I met a man who had a dream he had since he was twenty.
I met that man when he was eighty-one.
He said too many folks just stand and wait until the morning.
Don’t they know tomorrow never comes?”

This man had a dream for sixty-one years, but he didn’t move to make something happen.  He dreamed it, but he failed to act, and thus, “when he’d smile his eyes would twinkle up in thought” about the world he had envisioned.

And John Mayer?  Well, I used to love “Waiting on the World to Change.”  It has a catchy beat, and I always used to think it had a good message.  After listening to it a few more times, and reading the lyrics, I realize just how wrong I was.  What I first judged to be a good song about the younger generation’s struggle for social change, I now see as a cop-out song, placing blame on others and making excuses for why nothing gets accomplished.

“Now we see everything that's going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it.

So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change.”

Throughout history, when changes were needed, someone stood up and tried to make them, whether they had the resources or not.  In most cases, they didn’t have means, either, yet they tried nonetheless.  Mayer continues...

"It's not that we don't care
We just know that the fight ain't fair 
So we keep on waiting 
Waiting on the world to change."

Hm.  Okay.  I have no doubts that he cares, but to up and quit because “the fight ain’t fair” seems to be defeatist, at best.  So, rather than standing up and making a difference, Mayer plans to merely sit back and wait for change?  Well, Whittaker could tell you what that will accomplish.  Further, what do Mayer and others like him plan to do if and when this change does occur?  According to the song, after all this waiting...

“One day our generation
is gonna rule the population
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change.”

Really.  Really?  You sit around and wait for change because it seems too difficult, and now you want to “rule the population”?  Who’s going to follow you if you never show you can lead?  Shouldn’t we be teaching people to take the initiative?  Shouldn’t we be teaching people to be an active part of the world in which they live?  Shouldn’t we be teaching people that if they want changes to occur, they need to step up and make them happen?  Wasn’t it Gandhi who once said, “be the change you want to see in the world”?  Whittaker follows that mantra.  Apparently, Mayer does not.

Be one who acts to bring about change, to bring about social justice, to bring about equality...if you see something that needs changed, do something about it.  Don’t just talk about it.  Act.  My hope is that I’ll be right beside you!

In Defense of Educators...

[In response to recent criticism aimed at teachers (among others), I write the following.  While it may seem like I'm patting my own back, rest assured, I am merely offering my support for any and all who have assumed the mantle of "educator."]

"Give your teachers the respect they deserve, because they are the ones who can help you get where you need to go."  (Richard Howard)

To anyone out there who likes to complain that teachers get paid a full year's salary for only nine months of work, I respond with this:  we don't.  We get paid for nine months of work, spread out over the year.  We do a year's worth of work in those nine months.  We don't get "summers off."  We plan, take classes, collaborate with other teachers, and advise extra-curricular and co-curricular clubs, to say the least.  And yes, we take some time to relax...

...and during those nine months, our work day, while not as long as some, doesn't end with the last bell; it ends when we finally put down the work we bring home.  We arrive early and stay late.  We spend extra time with students during our planning periods or lunches.  We spend inordinate amounts of time reading, revising, planning, and studying so that we can improve ourselves as teachers.  We teach students things, but we also teach them ideas.  We hope that the work we do makes our students a little better than they were when they first sat down in our classrooms.  We talk to students, get to know them, teach them, and learn from them.  And at the end of a long year, as students are rushing to beat each other out the door, we same teachers sigh at the thought of another year gone by, and smile whenever a student, or two, or three, stops by to say "goodbye," or "it's been fun," or even "thank you."

I think, in the end, teachers are under-appreciated by most, but are most appreciated by those who matter most:  the students.  And as we begin our summer "break," we do so knowing that we need some well-deserved time to unwind and reflect on the year that has passed so that we might be better prepared for the year ahead.  We have minds to mold, and we need to be ready.

If you're a teacher, thank you for the work you do.  A student at a time, we're making the world a better place!

A Piece of Plastic Clay...?

I was at my parents' house recently, and something brought this poem to mind.  I don't now remember what it was, but I remember how it left me thinking.  After talking with my parents, I realized that as much as I love the following poem, I feel compelled to disagree with its meaning.

I took a piece of plastic clay
And idly fashioned it one day,
And as my fingers pressed it still,
It moved and yielded at my will.

I came again when days were past;
The bit of clay was hard at last,
The form I gave it still it bore,
But I could change that form no more.

I took a piece of living clay,
And gently formed it day by day,
And molded with my power and art
A young child's soft and yielding heart.

I came again when days were gone;
It was a man I looked upon;
That early impress still he wore,
And I could change it never more.  [Author Unknown]

On first read, I thought this was a good poem...a clear representation of the process of parenting, the molding, shaping, teaching that goes on throughout the early life of a child.  With it goes the knowledge that at some point, as a parent, you have to let the children go their own way.  You've done what you can, right?  You've taught them all you can teach them.  You've tried to raise them right, to be respectful, responsible adults.  Maybe they are.  Maybe the things you taught them still show ("that early impress still he wore"); however, the final line is where my views diverge from the poem.

"And I could change it never more."

How true is this?  While the hardened clay seems to be unchangeable ("But I could change that form no more"), it is, in fact, easy to change.  You can paint it, carve it, add things to it, and yes, even smash it.  What about a man?  A person?  Are we as as supposedly "unchangeable" as the hardened clay?

I like to believe that I am a good mixture of all that my parents taught me growing up.  They did an excellent job of teaching me to be a mature, responsible, caring person, and I will be forever grateful to them for that.  Here's the rub:  does the fact that I'm now 35 years old necessarily mean that they can't mold me or shape me any further?  Does the fact that I'm an adult mean that they can't still have an impact on me as a person?  I would suggest "no."  I would suggest that now is the time that they can have a greater impact because I am at a point in my life where I seek them out, knowing that they have valuable things to teach me.  Now that I am older, I am more willing, more able to appreciate, more willing to accept all that they have to offer.  I believe that this is not a superficial thing, but rather something fundamental.

I look back now and realize that many of the life lessons I have learned, I have learned as an adult.  Perseverance, patience, the value of hard work, how to love someone, how to treat others.  These are all things I gained a better understanding of as an adult.  My father always encouraged me, whether I was fretting over a college essay or the fact that I felt like I was going to be single for the rest of my life.  He was always there to let me know that when the time is right, good things will happen for me.  He was right.  My mother, the consummate caring person that she is, has shown me the value of loving and caring for others, often in the face of unappreciative people who might take for granted all that you've done for them.  These are life lessons that can only be truly appreciated as an adult.  In fact, I don't believe I ever really "learned" them at all until I was older.

In that light, two songs come to mind.  The first, "Angels," by Randy Travis, was the song to which my mother and I danced at my wedding.  I know a lot of people say this about their mothers, but my mother is special.  She is an angel...for dealing with the struggles that often go with being married to a military man, and for putting up with four often bratty kids who, I am sure, never truly appreciated all that she did for them and all the sacrifices she made. The following lines are spoken by one friend to another, after someone questioned the existence of angels.

"Are you telling me that you've never seen an angel?

Never felt the presence of one standing by?
No robe of white, no halo in site...
Well you missed the most obvious thing.
Man, are you blind?
Just look in your mothers eyes."

The second verse of the song talks about all the things mothers do that make them angels, and to the letter, it's a description of my mother.

The second song, "The Best Day," by George Strait has a couple of lines that express both the relationship I have with my father, as well as some lessons learned. The following lines show a son getting ready to be married.  His father is in the room with him at the church, and the son says to him:

"Dad, this could be the best day of my life. 

I've been dreamin' day and night of bein' like you.
Now it's me and her,
Watchin' you and mom I've learned,
I'm the luckiest man alive,
This is the best day of my life."

Sometimes, it goes beyond the simple lessons you're taught.  Like the son in this song, I want to be like my Dad, and having learned from my parents, I know what I need to do to have a successful marriage, and a successful life.  These are the kinds of lessons that will never end.  I hope I never stop learning from my parents; I hope I never stop learning period.  My parents molded me into the man I am today, and though I have many flaws, I know that when it matters, the man they taught me to be will show up.

Mom and Dad:  I love you, and thank you for everything you've done for me.

"Georgia on My Mind" and Other Tunes...

Note:  I originally posted this December 10, 2010, using another site, which I don't use much anymore, so I decided to re-post it here.  References to my fiancée are outdated, as we are now happily married, but I chose to include the original post as-is.  I hope you enjoy it!  :)
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While I was driving to work today, scanning through stations looking for my "get up and go" song, I stumbled across "Georgia on My Mind," sung by Willie Nelson.  I used to live in Georgia, so I always enjoy listening to that song.  This time, however, it was a little different.  The weather outside is cold and snowy...there's a biting wind.  Yet, listening to that song this morning took me back to a place I haven't seen in many, many years.  Suddenly, it was warm.  The sun was shining, and I was running around in the woods near my old home playing Laser Tag.  Those were the days.  Instantly, I was refreshed.  Gone were the "blah" feelings I experienced when I walked outside this morning into the bitter cold.  In their place were warmth, contentment, and satisfaction.  I spent the rest of the drive to work thinking about some of the "good 'ol days," and showed up to teach with a smile on my face!

1.  "Everything Louder Than Everything Else" (Meat Loaf) - In high school, I was a member of the drama club.  The year this song came out, we would listen to it in the dressing room prior to every performance.  It was our "get up and go" song.

2.  "Everything I Do (I Do It for You)" (Bryan Adams) - This was my audition song for the first play I was ever in.  The girl I am engaged to now was my girlfriend that year in high school, and she was the one cuing up the music.  In a way, that song was to her as well.  When we hear it now, it always causes us to smile.

3.  "Take It Easy" (The Eagles) - The summer between my junior and senior years, I went to a national theater conference at Ball State University.  The first day there, I bought "The Eagles Greatest Hits:  Volume One," and I listened to it the entire week.  It was an amazing week for too many reasons to recount here.  Now, I can't hear any song off that album without thinking of that trip.

4.  "You've Got a Friend in Me" (Michael Jackson) - Believe it or not, this was on one of the first cassettes I ever owned.  It was a "best of" cassette of young Michael and his brothers.  Hearing it just makes me think of when I was a little kid and things seemed so much easier.

5.  "The Living Years" (Mike + the Mechanics) - This song reminds me a lot of my father, not because he's passed away (which he's not), but because of how affected he was by his father's death.  He felt he never truly told his dad how he felt about him, and whenever he hears this song, I think it saddens him a little.  My father and I are very close, and this song tends to remind me how important it is to let those you care about know it.

6.  "You Give Love a Bad Name" (Bon Jovi) - Before it was part of Barney's "Get Psyched Mix" on "How I Met Your Mother," it was a song I listened to whenever I was feeling angry or frustrated or needed to vent.  I would put this song in my car stereo and drive around, listening to it as many times as necessary.  While it doesn't point to a specific incident, it does remind me that there are healthy ways to let go of negative emotions (and yes...working out is another way!).

7.  "Beau's All-Night Radio Love Line" (Joshua Kadison) - I remember this song from college...while the details of the album and everything have to do with a girl I dated briefly the year this song came out, this song does not.  Instead, this song is one I listen to when I'm feeling down, or when I'm feeling that I'm all alone and no one can understand me.  It lets me know that there are plenty of people out there feeling the same way I am.  It's a great tune!

8.  "Take on Me" (A-ha) - Crazy song from the '80s one-hit wonders!  I used to work in retail, and one night during the holidays, a bunch of us went out to a bar near work to unwind.  We had been there a while, and this song came on the jukebox.  Without planning, when the chorus came on, a group of us stood up and belted it out at the tops of our lungs.  I really don't know why I always think of this when the song plays, unless it has something to do with the fact that I'm usually more reserved, and this was a time when I let loose!

9.  "Now and Forever" (Richard Marx) - Another song that relates to my fiancée and me.  This was the song that played at my senior prom, which I took her to.  A long time has passed since then, but we are back together and getting married in January.  So I guess (as her father reminded us) both "Now" and "Forever" do apply, albeit separated by 15 years!

10.  "With a Little Help from My Friends" (Joe Cocker) - The Wonder Years.  What else do I need to say?  I love this show, and whenever I would hear the first few notes of this song,I would drop whatever I was doing to go watch!  I know that the "wonder years" the show refers to are far removed from my own, but that didn't stop the show from shedding light on things that all teenage boys deal with as they're growing up!

What songs have meaning for you?  I could probably list tons more if I had the time, or my iPod!  Think about what songs have meaning to you and go listen to them.  Music can "calm the savage beast," or so I recall someone saying.  It helps my workouts; it helps put me in the right frame of mind...What does it do for you?

I Finally Found...

...the Love of a Lifetime."  :)  Cheesy 80's rock ballad aside...it's the truth.  On January 15th of this year, I married the most wonderful woman in the world!  We danced to "Destiny," by Jim Brickman, and in the time leading up to our marriage, we made CDs and dedicated countless songs to each other.  Until now, however, I had yet write about it.  Three weeks into marriage, and I found myself struggling to put into words, into music, exactly the way I was feeling.  That changed yesterday.  While sitting in one of my many contemplative moods, the song, "Love of a Lifetime," by Firehouse, started playing in my mind...and it hit me.

"I guess the time was right for us to say
We'd take our time and live our lives together day by day..."

That first line says it all.  Heidi and I dated in high school, during my senior year...and 15 years later, she came back into my life.  And, as the song says, "the time was right for us..." to be reunited, fall in love, and decide to spend the rest of our lives together.

"We'll make a wish and send it on a prayer
We know our dreams can all come true with love that we can share..."

This one seems to require little explanation.  After years of being alone, suddenly all my prayers were answered...and when Heidi and I exchanged our vows, we did so knowing that together, we can make our dreams come true.  Marrying her checks one dream off of the list; I look forward to many, many others.

"With you I never wonder - will you be there for me
With you I never wonder - you're the right one for me..."

Throughout my life, people always told me, "someday, you'll find the right girl."  I never understood that.  How do you know who the right girl is?  How do you know when you've met the person with whom you'll spend the rest of your life?  The old cliche, "you'll just know..." applies here.  After an initial bout with nerves, I found that I did "just know."  I didn't have to think about it, or analyze it (as was common for me in the past), or think about whether I had other options.  I "just knew."  From that moment until now, and for the rest of my life, I'll continue "just knowing" that she is the right girl for me.  No wondering.  Only certainty.

Verse two describes the love...

"With every kiss our love is like brand-new
And every star up in the sky was made for me and you
Still we both know that the road is long
(But) we know that we will be together because our love is strong..."

I realize that we've only been married for a few weeks, but our friendship goes back much farther.  As such, this isn't merely me being in the blissful early stages of marriage.  "Every kiss...every star up in the sky..." points out to me the endless possibilities that lay before us.  We've known each other for a long time, yet everyday, I discover something new about her, about us, that does make our love seem like brand-new.  It's not going to be easy...as the song says.  Already, we know there are mountains we have climb in order to achieve some of our dreams, but we're willing to climb them together.  With that in mind, I know this is forever.

And the chorus...

"I finally found the love of a lifetime
A love to last my whole life through
I finally found the love of a lifetime
Forever in my heart, I finally found the love of a lifetime."

I love you, Heidi, with all my heart and soul!

(...even more than pizza rolls...)

;)

Outside the reception hall

Our first dance - to "Destiny"