A Piece of Plastic Clay...?

I was at my parents' house recently, and something brought this poem to mind.  I don't now remember what it was, but I remember how it left me thinking.  After talking with my parents, I realized that as much as I love the following poem, I feel compelled to disagree with its meaning.

I took a piece of plastic clay
And idly fashioned it one day,
And as my fingers pressed it still,
It moved and yielded at my will.

I came again when days were past;
The bit of clay was hard at last,
The form I gave it still it bore,
But I could change that form no more.

I took a piece of living clay,
And gently formed it day by day,
And molded with my power and art
A young child's soft and yielding heart.

I came again when days were gone;
It was a man I looked upon;
That early impress still he wore,
And I could change it never more.  [Author Unknown]

On first read, I thought this was a good poem...a clear representation of the process of parenting, the molding, shaping, teaching that goes on throughout the early life of a child.  With it goes the knowledge that at some point, as a parent, you have to let the children go their own way.  You've done what you can, right?  You've taught them all you can teach them.  You've tried to raise them right, to be respectful, responsible adults.  Maybe they are.  Maybe the things you taught them still show ("that early impress still he wore"); however, the final line is where my views diverge from the poem.

"And I could change it never more."

How true is this?  While the hardened clay seems to be unchangeable ("But I could change that form no more"), it is, in fact, easy to change.  You can paint it, carve it, add things to it, and yes, even smash it.  What about a man?  A person?  Are we as as supposedly "unchangeable" as the hardened clay?

I like to believe that I am a good mixture of all that my parents taught me growing up.  They did an excellent job of teaching me to be a mature, responsible, caring person, and I will be forever grateful to them for that.  Here's the rub:  does the fact that I'm now 35 years old necessarily mean that they can't mold me or shape me any further?  Does the fact that I'm an adult mean that they can't still have an impact on me as a person?  I would suggest "no."  I would suggest that now is the time that they can have a greater impact because I am at a point in my life where I seek them out, knowing that they have valuable things to teach me.  Now that I am older, I am more willing, more able to appreciate, more willing to accept all that they have to offer.  I believe that this is not a superficial thing, but rather something fundamental.

I look back now and realize that many of the life lessons I have learned, I have learned as an adult.  Perseverance, patience, the value of hard work, how to love someone, how to treat others.  These are all things I gained a better understanding of as an adult.  My father always encouraged me, whether I was fretting over a college essay or the fact that I felt like I was going to be single for the rest of my life.  He was always there to let me know that when the time is right, good things will happen for me.  He was right.  My mother, the consummate caring person that she is, has shown me the value of loving and caring for others, often in the face of unappreciative people who might take for granted all that you've done for them.  These are life lessons that can only be truly appreciated as an adult.  In fact, I don't believe I ever really "learned" them at all until I was older.

In that light, two songs come to mind.  The first, "Angels," by Randy Travis, was the song to which my mother and I danced at my wedding.  I know a lot of people say this about their mothers, but my mother is special.  She is an angel...for dealing with the struggles that often go with being married to a military man, and for putting up with four often bratty kids who, I am sure, never truly appreciated all that she did for them and all the sacrifices she made. The following lines are spoken by one friend to another, after someone questioned the existence of angels.

"Are you telling me that you've never seen an angel?

Never felt the presence of one standing by?
No robe of white, no halo in site...
Well you missed the most obvious thing.
Man, are you blind?
Just look in your mothers eyes."

The second verse of the song talks about all the things mothers do that make them angels, and to the letter, it's a description of my mother.

The second song, "The Best Day," by George Strait has a couple of lines that express both the relationship I have with my father, as well as some lessons learned. The following lines show a son getting ready to be married.  His father is in the room with him at the church, and the son says to him:

"Dad, this could be the best day of my life. 

I've been dreamin' day and night of bein' like you.
Now it's me and her,
Watchin' you and mom I've learned,
I'm the luckiest man alive,
This is the best day of my life."

Sometimes, it goes beyond the simple lessons you're taught.  Like the son in this song, I want to be like my Dad, and having learned from my parents, I know what I need to do to have a successful marriage, and a successful life.  These are the kinds of lessons that will never end.  I hope I never stop learning from my parents; I hope I never stop learning period.  My parents molded me into the man I am today, and though I have many flaws, I know that when it matters, the man they taught me to be will show up.

Mom and Dad:  I love you, and thank you for everything you've done for me.

"Georgia on My Mind" and Other Tunes...

Note:  I originally posted this December 10, 2010, using another site, which I don't use much anymore, so I decided to re-post it here.  References to my fiancée are outdated, as we are now happily married, but I chose to include the original post as-is.  I hope you enjoy it!  :)
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While I was driving to work today, scanning through stations looking for my "get up and go" song, I stumbled across "Georgia on My Mind," sung by Willie Nelson.  I used to live in Georgia, so I always enjoy listening to that song.  This time, however, it was a little different.  The weather outside is cold and snowy...there's a biting wind.  Yet, listening to that song this morning took me back to a place I haven't seen in many, many years.  Suddenly, it was warm.  The sun was shining, and I was running around in the woods near my old home playing Laser Tag.  Those were the days.  Instantly, I was refreshed.  Gone were the "blah" feelings I experienced when I walked outside this morning into the bitter cold.  In their place were warmth, contentment, and satisfaction.  I spent the rest of the drive to work thinking about some of the "good 'ol days," and showed up to teach with a smile on my face!

1.  "Everything Louder Than Everything Else" (Meat Loaf) - In high school, I was a member of the drama club.  The year this song came out, we would listen to it in the dressing room prior to every performance.  It was our "get up and go" song.

2.  "Everything I Do (I Do It for You)" (Bryan Adams) - This was my audition song for the first play I was ever in.  The girl I am engaged to now was my girlfriend that year in high school, and she was the one cuing up the music.  In a way, that song was to her as well.  When we hear it now, it always causes us to smile.

3.  "Take It Easy" (The Eagles) - The summer between my junior and senior years, I went to a national theater conference at Ball State University.  The first day there, I bought "The Eagles Greatest Hits:  Volume One," and I listened to it the entire week.  It was an amazing week for too many reasons to recount here.  Now, I can't hear any song off that album without thinking of that trip.

4.  "You've Got a Friend in Me" (Michael Jackson) - Believe it or not, this was on one of the first cassettes I ever owned.  It was a "best of" cassette of young Michael and his brothers.  Hearing it just makes me think of when I was a little kid and things seemed so much easier.

5.  "The Living Years" (Mike + the Mechanics) - This song reminds me a lot of my father, not because he's passed away (which he's not), but because of how affected he was by his father's death.  He felt he never truly told his dad how he felt about him, and whenever he hears this song, I think it saddens him a little.  My father and I are very close, and this song tends to remind me how important it is to let those you care about know it.

6.  "You Give Love a Bad Name" (Bon Jovi) - Before it was part of Barney's "Get Psyched Mix" on "How I Met Your Mother," it was a song I listened to whenever I was feeling angry or frustrated or needed to vent.  I would put this song in my car stereo and drive around, listening to it as many times as necessary.  While it doesn't point to a specific incident, it does remind me that there are healthy ways to let go of negative emotions (and yes...working out is another way!).

7.  "Beau's All-Night Radio Love Line" (Joshua Kadison) - I remember this song from college...while the details of the album and everything have to do with a girl I dated briefly the year this song came out, this song does not.  Instead, this song is one I listen to when I'm feeling down, or when I'm feeling that I'm all alone and no one can understand me.  It lets me know that there are plenty of people out there feeling the same way I am.  It's a great tune!

8.  "Take on Me" (A-ha) - Crazy song from the '80s one-hit wonders!  I used to work in retail, and one night during the holidays, a bunch of us went out to a bar near work to unwind.  We had been there a while, and this song came on the jukebox.  Without planning, when the chorus came on, a group of us stood up and belted it out at the tops of our lungs.  I really don't know why I always think of this when the song plays, unless it has something to do with the fact that I'm usually more reserved, and this was a time when I let loose!

9.  "Now and Forever" (Richard Marx) - Another song that relates to my fiancée and me.  This was the song that played at my senior prom, which I took her to.  A long time has passed since then, but we are back together and getting married in January.  So I guess (as her father reminded us) both "Now" and "Forever" do apply, albeit separated by 15 years!

10.  "With a Little Help from My Friends" (Joe Cocker) - The Wonder Years.  What else do I need to say?  I love this show, and whenever I would hear the first few notes of this song,I would drop whatever I was doing to go watch!  I know that the "wonder years" the show refers to are far removed from my own, but that didn't stop the show from shedding light on things that all teenage boys deal with as they're growing up!

What songs have meaning for you?  I could probably list tons more if I had the time, or my iPod!  Think about what songs have meaning to you and go listen to them.  Music can "calm the savage beast," or so I recall someone saying.  It helps my workouts; it helps put me in the right frame of mind...What does it do for you?

I Finally Found...

...the Love of a Lifetime."  :)  Cheesy 80's rock ballad aside...it's the truth.  On January 15th of this year, I married the most wonderful woman in the world!  We danced to "Destiny," by Jim Brickman, and in the time leading up to our marriage, we made CDs and dedicated countless songs to each other.  Until now, however, I had yet write about it.  Three weeks into marriage, and I found myself struggling to put into words, into music, exactly the way I was feeling.  That changed yesterday.  While sitting in one of my many contemplative moods, the song, "Love of a Lifetime," by Firehouse, started playing in my mind...and it hit me.

"I guess the time was right for us to say
We'd take our time and live our lives together day by day..."

That first line says it all.  Heidi and I dated in high school, during my senior year...and 15 years later, she came back into my life.  And, as the song says, "the time was right for us..." to be reunited, fall in love, and decide to spend the rest of our lives together.

"We'll make a wish and send it on a prayer
We know our dreams can all come true with love that we can share..."

This one seems to require little explanation.  After years of being alone, suddenly all my prayers were answered...and when Heidi and I exchanged our vows, we did so knowing that together, we can make our dreams come true.  Marrying her checks one dream off of the list; I look forward to many, many others.

"With you I never wonder - will you be there for me
With you I never wonder - you're the right one for me..."

Throughout my life, people always told me, "someday, you'll find the right girl."  I never understood that.  How do you know who the right girl is?  How do you know when you've met the person with whom you'll spend the rest of your life?  The old cliche, "you'll just know..." applies here.  After an initial bout with nerves, I found that I did "just know."  I didn't have to think about it, or analyze it (as was common for me in the past), or think about whether I had other options.  I "just knew."  From that moment until now, and for the rest of my life, I'll continue "just knowing" that she is the right girl for me.  No wondering.  Only certainty.

Verse two describes the love...

"With every kiss our love is like brand-new
And every star up in the sky was made for me and you
Still we both know that the road is long
(But) we know that we will be together because our love is strong..."

I realize that we've only been married for a few weeks, but our friendship goes back much farther.  As such, this isn't merely me being in the blissful early stages of marriage.  "Every kiss...every star up in the sky..." points out to me the endless possibilities that lay before us.  We've known each other for a long time, yet everyday, I discover something new about her, about us, that does make our love seem like brand-new.  It's not going to be easy...as the song says.  Already, we know there are mountains we have climb in order to achieve some of our dreams, but we're willing to climb them together.  With that in mind, I know this is forever.

And the chorus...

"I finally found the love of a lifetime
A love to last my whole life through
I finally found the love of a lifetime
Forever in my heart, I finally found the love of a lifetime."

I love you, Heidi, with all my heart and soul!

(...even more than pizza rolls...)

;)

Outside the reception hall

Our first dance - to "Destiny"

 

When I Heard the Learn'd Astronomer...

A colleague of mine sent me an email, asking me to interpret this poem for her; she wanted to see if my interpretation matched her own. While I had read it before, it was undoubtedly during some reading of various poems for a college course, and this one never really caught my attention. So, I took a few moments to read, to reflect, and to ponder its meaning...

When I heard the learn'd astronomer;
When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me;
When I was shown the charts and the diagrams, to add, divide, and
measure them;
When I, sitting, heard the astronomer, where he lectured with much
applause in the lecture-room,
How soon, unaccountable, I became tired and sick;
Till rising and gliding out, I wander'd off by myself,
In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,
Look'd up in perfect silence at the stars. [Walt Whitman]

After reading it, I sent the following reply:

"On first look, I’d say that it has something to do with the actual science of the mysteries of the universe taking the pleasure away from the world around us…that the natural world cannot be defined with charts, facts, and figures, but rather is something to be experienced on a mystical and maybe ethereal level.
...
Or…I suppose it could have something to do with life and death. Life being the time when one concerns himself with the world around him and death being the time when he can understand the meaning behind it all..."

Her response, much simpler, was perhaps more profound:

"My interpretation was not to just take the words of the scholar but to “experience” things for yourself."

"Interesting," I thought, "how succinctly she was able to offer virtually the same interpretation." She from a business background, getting to the heart of the matter. Me, from a humanities background, wanting to draw out the experience, sometimes interminably...

Regardless, it ignited a spark, and between battling a splitting headache and talking about the ills of censorship as students gave presentations on various challenged and banned books, I thought about the message in Whitman's short poem...

If, indeed, he is encouraging us to experience the world around us for ourselves....who are we to argue? If, indeed, he is encouraging us to be the shapers of our world...who are we to resist? If, indeed, he is encouraging us to rely, not on others, but on our own interpretations, who are we to ignore him? The man who gave the world, "O Captain, My Captain," "I Hear America Singing," and "Song of Myself" deserves to be heeded when he offers up advice.

So, starting today, I plan to devote more time to the world around me. I see so many students, everyday, with their faces buried in computers, headphones perpetually plugged into their ears...unaware of the beauty that surrounds them. Hm...I remember taking my students outside one spring...their assignment: spend a few minutes in thought...let your senses explore your surroundings...and spend the period writing...no guidance...just write. With a pen in hand, some students jumped at the chance; others, without a keyboard in front of them, seemed lost...unable to focus their thoughts...

Sad. So very sad.

Do not let their fate befall you...get out and explore the world around you and determine for yourself its value. Rely not on the ideas of others to shape your view of the world. It's a beautiful place we live in. Take advantage of it. Unplug for a while and let your senses, your mind, run wild.

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Now playing: Naturescapes Music - Stream of Dreams
via FoxyTunes

"A Little Left of Center..."

I've always been a fan of Randy Travis...and this song is just another example of why...Listen here...

I walk in the rain, and I whistle a tune
I talk to the man up there in the moon
I know I may sound like somebody gone insane
I'm a fool about you baby, but my heart can't explain

[Chorus]
It's a little left of center
By Heavenly design
Love gets carried away
And goes wild at times
When Cupid aims his arrow
It's right on the mark
A little left of center
Just like my crazy heart

It leaps like a frog when you touch my hand
It beats like a drum in a marching band
Can't help what it does, I just follow where it leads
How my heart feels about you baby makes perfect sense to me

[Chorus]

When Cupid aims his arrow
It's right on the mark
A little left of center
Just like my crazy heart...

Music is merely another form of poetry...another form of expression. I enjoy music. It always seems to be around when I need it the most, with the perfect song...to lift me out of a bad mood or to remind me why I'm in a good one. While I don't possess the talent for songwriting that others do, I can appreciate a good song when I hear it. This song has always been a favorite of mine, though never more than it is now.

I was single for quite some time...to the point that I began to wonder if I'd ever find someone. Music was always a friend...to wallow with me in my misery...to show me that maybe things weren't as bad as I imagined...or to encourage me that someday, I would find someone. Now, I find myself turning to music as a means of expressing feelings I've never truly experienced...feelings with which I am unfamiliar. I find myself, literally sometimes, whistling a tune...or staring up at the sky...talking to whomever up there might be listening, be it the man in the moon or not...feeling like a fool, yet loving every minute! "A Little Left of Center" is one in a long list of songs that has helped me to say the things I want to say when I have trouble finding the words.

I continue to listen...and each time I do, I hear another song that says everything I'm thinking and feeling...

To those with the knack for songwriting, I say "thank you," on behalf of those of us who need your music. Keep writing, keep singing, keep listening. A world without music would be one devoid of a wonderful form of expression!

"Around the Corner," Around the World?

I stumbled across this poem while reading a book of American poetry that, until recently, had been collecting dust on the shelf. It grabbed my attention immediately, and I began to think about how relevant it is to my own life...

"Around the Corner" (Charles Hanson Towne)

Around the Corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friend's face,
For life is a swift and terrible race.

He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him."

But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir,"..."Jim died today."

And that's what we get, and deserve in the end:
Around the corner, a vanished friend.

I know. It's meaning seems simple enough; however, my own experiences tell me that this poem, its meaning, is more relevant today than ever before. With social networks blossoming all over the place and people making contact with others sometimes thousands of miles away, I wonder how much attention we are placing on those who are "around the corner." In the past 15 years, I have lost touch with numerous friends. Some have moved away. Some of us have merely grown apart. And yes, in some cases, there have been fallings out. There are others, though, to which these categories do not apply. I look over my list of Facebook friends or Twitter friends, and I realize that many of them are people with whom I have reestablished contact because of these social sites. Some of them are far away...some are nearby. All are friends. But then, I realize there are friends of mine who live just down the road, seemingly, to whom I have not spoken in months, or even years. Why is that? They are still friends, yet what I have done to maintain that friendship? I spend countless hours online, messaging friends via Facebook, or updating friends via Twitter, or emailing someone who lives halfway around the world. Yet, rarely do I find myself taking the time out of my day to stroll to a friend's house and say hello. I think social network sites are amazing. They serve to establish connections, reestablish friendships, and they also provide information and entertainment. We must be wary, however, not to let ourselves become so absorbed with them, that we lose the intimacy of human contact.

Dow Chemical has been running commercials talking about "the human element." The commercials are appealing because they touch on the one thing that seems to be lacking for much of us...the human element. We spend so much time working, running errands, paying bills, chatting online, that we often neglect what may be the simplest, yet most meaningful part of human existence: establishing and maintaining a connection with another.

My pledge is to spend a little more time with those friends whom I may have neglected through the years. To get to know them. To reestablish that human contact so many of us are lacking. To rediscover the "human element."

True friendships are easy. They require little to maintain. Have coffee with an old friend. Today. Before bad news has a chance to come. I have to believe that it will make you, the friend, the world, that much closer.

"Forever Mankind"

The following speech was written as a "worst-case scenario" speech, to be delivered if tragedy struck and the Apollo 11 astronauts were stranded on the moon. Fortunately, Richard Nixon never had to give this speech (written by William Safire); and yet, in it lies the spirit of American exploration that has guided us since the first explorers stepped foot on this continent so many years ago...

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"Fate has ordained that the men who went to the moon to explore in peace will stay on the moon to rest in peace.

These brave men, Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin, know that there is no hope for their recovery. But they also know that there is hope for mankind in their sacrifice.

These two men are laying down their lives in mankind's most noble goal: the search for truth and understanding.

They will be mourned by their families and friends; they will be mourned by their nation; they will be mourned by the people of the world; they will be mourned by a Mother Earth that dared send two of her sons into the unknown.

In their exploration, they stirred the people of the world to feel as one; in their sacrifice, they bind more tightly the brotherhood of man.

In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same, but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood.

Others will follow, and surely find their way home. Man's search will not be denied. But these men were the first, and they will remain the foremost in our hearts.

For every human being who looks up at the moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever mankind.

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As I read this speech, I cannot help but wonder how this world would be different had those brave astronauts not returned from their voyage. It would not be considered a failure, I am certain. Rather, I believe it would have been considered another stone in the road toward the future...and as such, the American spirit of exploration would have continued on, undaunted. When I read this speech, I find myself rereading two sections: the first, about the search for truth and understanding, the second, about the unifying ability of their sacrifice, because sacrifice it is, regardless of the outcome.

The search for truth and understanding has gone on for centuries, and those searching, often did so despite disapproval from those in power, and despite the danger to themselves. We would have done the same had the Apollo 11 astronauts never returned. The proof? In 1986, the space shuttle Challenger disintegrated in a sudden and massive explosion shortly after take-off. The nation mourned the loss of the brave men and women on board. President Reagan, using his skills as an orator, helped the country through their grief with the following words: "We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them, this morning, as they prepared for their journey and waved goodbye and 'slipped the surly bonds of earth' to ' touch the face of God." Yet, he also illustrated the American spirit of exploration when he said, "We'll continue our quest in space. There will be more shuttle flights and more shuttle crews and, yes, more volunteers, more civilians, more teachers in space. Nothing ends here; our hopes and our journeys continue." And we did continue...albeit after an extended break. And we continued despite much public outcry over the dangers of space travel. As Reagan said: "Man's search will not be denied." More recently, we have suffered through the tragedy of the space shuttle Columbia, as it broke apart during re-entry, killing all aboard. Again, we mourned, and after some time, we continued our search for truth and understanding.

The second part of the "Forever Mankind" speech I like talks about how these brave men brought about a sense of brotherhood to the people of the world. The speech maintains that their exploration, and ultimate sacrifice, "stirred the people of the world to feel as one." The interesting thing is that their success, not their failure, is what brought the world together, if only for a moment.

After reading this section, my mind wandering, I paused...because I could not help but wonder why the world can always find the exuberance to celebrate together during times of extreme triumph (the moon landing, the first trans-ocean flight, etc.) or the strength to mourn together and help those in need during times of extreme tragedy (earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, etc.), yet we seem never to be able to unite for a common cause during ordinary times. The closest I could think of is the U.S.A. for Africa project, which, with the release of "We Are the World," was able to raise millions of dollars to help feed the hungry in Africa. When released, it was played on thousands of radio stations worldwide at the same time. Yet, even this event, though unique and wonderful, only came to fruition after the world saw footage of the terrible conditions the people of Ethiopia had to endure.

So, my point is this: why can't we come together to help each other everyday? Why must we be prompted by some national tragedy or worldwide event? In the time that I have been injured, I have been treated with the utmost kindness by practically everyone I have come across; it means the world to me, but what about when I'm not injured? Why can't the people of the world find it in themselves to follow the Golden Rule all the time? Do we really need some massive worldwide event to cause us "to come together as one"?

Why can't we make this world "forever mankind," a place where the world comes together to help each other because it's the right thing to do, not because we're in dire straights, lacking any other options?

It seems so simple. We sacrifice a little for the greater good, and ultimately, the world is a better place. Right?

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Now playing: Mannheim Steamroller - Fanfare For The Common Man
via FoxyTunes

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Now playing: U.S.A. for Africa - We Are the World
via FoxyTunes